A Rant About Work....

So it's 4 days before Christmas, and I am officially on my "vacation" from work. Work has been pretty bad lately...so I am very glad to not be there for the next 11 days. I am compelled to write about how much I hate that miserable place. It's a place that I have worked for 12 years. Every year I tell myself, it's bound to be better...it can't possibly get worse can it? Yet, somehow, it gets worse. I can't even begin to chronicle all of the injustices I have suffered at the hand of XYZ Asshole Company. They are the evil incarnate. Let's just put it this way...at the end of the year when MOST companies reward their employees with a Christmas or End of Year Bonus, a Christmas Party and gifts, XYZ Asshole Company does none of those things. We get a song and dance about how WELL the company did this year- oh yes, it is a BILLION dollar company- and their gift to us is a mini jar of M&M's with the company's logo on it- incidentally, it is the SAME gift they mailed out to the customers anyway. So, it's not REALLY a gift now is it? It's a WRITE off. They host a "luncheon" on site for the "holiday" during the work day, which ensures both that it is going to be only an hour, and also that no one leaves for lunch, thus ensuring that more work can be accomplished. There are no Christmas parties, no bonuses, no gifts. We get ZIPPO and yet they continue to BRAG about how WELL the company did this year, and how "lucky" we are to work there. Yesterday I had my year end review (a joke of a process I assure you) and I am given the typical "you are a great part of our team, you do an exemplary job, etc." Yet, they won't give me a raise. It's been 3 years with no raise...they decided to cap my pay and not allow for cost of living increases. Now anyone living in the USA today KNOWS that the past 2-3 years have been BRUTAL for cost of living, and if the pay isn't keeping up with it, then you are actually falling behind in your bills by working there. Basically they don't care..because bottom line, they WANT to keep downsizing, keeping the profits for the multi-millionaire owner so he can buy another $20 million dollar penthouse in a major city. The owner of this company is a RAT. He's a rat, plain and simple... I had this experience with him just yesterday....



I was coming into my building where I work, laden down with the usual junk I carry with me everyday: Purse, tote bag, lunch tote, keys, and coffee, carrying my access card in my teeth b/c I have no more hands to hold it. As I struggle to get the door open with my foot and my butt... I hear.. "Hold the door please." And it's CEO Asshole! I paste on a fake grin and hold the door. He runs up to me and says "You just saved my life, thanks." and I said "Oh you know someone would have come along and let you in the door." He tells me, "Oh, I have my card... My hands are so FULL." I look down at his hands...he is holding a bottle of water in one hand, and wallet and keys in the other. I have all of the aforementioned things, PLUS I am holding the door open with my ass....This ASSHOLE proceeds to walk past me and doesn't offer to hold the door open for me...just walks past and goes "Have a nice day!" This guy deserves the Asshole of the year award in my book. I mean REALLY... How can anyone have so few manners???? Just because I don't have his money doesn't automatically make me his SERVANT. That is the DISTINCT feeling that I got when he brushed past me. Gee, I should have held out my hand for a tip....



I know this is a rant...I can't help myself! I am so furiously ANGRY at the way I have been treated at the hands of XYZ Asshole Company. I have been searching for a job for a LONG time and so far nothing that is suitable has come along. I can't afford to work somewhere for LESS money...but the way things are now, I can't afford to stay there either!!!



I PRAY every day that something good can happen to me...I totally feel beat up by life lately and I need a sign that good things are in store for me. I need to get away from XYZ Asshole Company...the stress of being there sucks the life out of me and it's probably keeping me from getting pregnant...



So I am putting this out there to the entire Cosmos... HELP ME!! Inspire me! Give me the winning lotto numbers! Something!!!



That's it and that's all.......

An update....

It has been 6 weeks since my surgery. As far as surgeries go, it was a success. I had a relatively easy recovery from it, and for that I am grateful. The surgeon did find extensive endometriosis, as suspected, and it was bad enough that it had completely covered both ovaries, plastering them to my pelvic wall, and covered over my tubes as well. Apparently, I had an endometrioma (chocolate cyst) on the right ovary that had to be removed. The surgeon gave me pictures of the before and after to bring to the specialist at my next consultation. They are pretty cool, but pretty gross at the same time. It's awe inspiring to see something like a picture of your insides...I mean, how many people really get to see all that anyway? It's kind of neat to see...

Anyway, so far it's only been 1 cycle since and obviously no pregnancy yet. I am still trying... I will continue to try naturally for as long as possible. I am still waiting for the specialist to direct me on what he wants me to do. I had an ultrasound at the beginning of my last cycle, and I have not heard what the next step is to be. I guess I should call the Dr. again, but I keep holding out hope that I will get pregnant on my own without help. It's my biggest wish and prayer these days.

Aside from that, an update on my friends A and B. B decided to get a boob job! She decided that she was ready to do it, and I supported her in it 100%. I am happy for her. She had the surgery a couple of weeks ago and I can tell that already she has an increased confidence level. Good for her. I also found out that she has a little playmate in the office that she has been flirting with for a while. And it makes me wonder if all this plastic surgery talk started because of this flirtation. Honestly, I can't fault her for wanting a little bit of fun. It hasn't gone anywhere as far as I can tell. She has even shared some of the emails that go back and forth with him. They are mostly playful, with a little bit of naughty connotation going on. Like I said, who am I to judge her? I am guilty of doing that myself... so if it makes her feel better to share it with me in order to relieve her guilt...so be it. Truthfully, I get a kick out of it and I have to say that I really really miss that kind of banter in my day now that A is out of my life.

Speaking of A... I have not once heard from him since he visited here back in Sept. He said he'd keep in touch, but I think that both of us knew that he wouldn't. He has totally written me off as a friend now that he knows he can't have me the way he wants to. For him, it's easier to block me out than to try to work on a civil friendship that has no sexual overtones. Because to him, the only relationship with a woman has a sexual overtone. There is no other option with him. It's his way of living...but not mine. So as much as I miss that part of my life, I am also relieved to close the chapter on it. As far as I am concerned, I am friends with B, and that is it. If we ever get to hang out together again I will deal with my feelings about A. But or the most part, I have written him off as well. It's for the best.

That's it and that's all folks....