Well...it's almost to the end....I am 37 weeks tomorrow- I am definitely having the baby by C section on Feb 6th- 2 weeks from today. I am excited, nervous and scared. I hate the idea of surgety...but I am happy NOT to have to endure labor. I keep hearing how much worse that is. I'll take the easier route, thank you very much.
As a result of this development, I will have my last day at work on Feb 5th- and then I am done with that place for good. Of course, I will be unemployed, but there is a measure of relief to know that I won't have to endure that place and the stress it causes once the baby is here. I will get a chance to really bond being home with him indefinitely. I'll collect unemployment and continue to look for a job...
So that's it and that's all for now.....will blog more later...
:)
Friday, January 23, 2009
Saturday, January 10, 2009
Baby Shower!
Today is my baby shower.... I am a little excited about it... the whole job layoff thing has put a little damper on things, but it will be a nice afternoon, so I am trying to concentrate on it. I wanted to make note of the fact that B- the same B that is supposed to be my friend- totally ignored the invitation to the baby shower and never RSVP'd- despite telling me from the beginning that "I want to be invited to your baby shower, I want to come in for it." Well, I invited her, and she basically avoided me completely for the past month. I even sent her a personal invitation to stay at my house so she wouldn't need a hotel- I never got a response. I sent a Christmas Card, and a Happy New Year text message, but those were ignored as well. Yesterday, I get a call on my cell from her and I didn't pick up b/c I am pretty pissed off- I mean, come ON...how HARD would it have been to respond to the invitation and say..." I am so sorry, I wish I could come, but I have work." or whatever excuse- any excuse would have been better than the avoidance. I think she just doesn't want to give a gift. Whatever- if she said, "I can't afford to come." I would have understood that as well. The entire thing really didn't sit well with me. Her voice mail on my cell was like "I'm sorry to RSVP so late, but obviously I can't come to the shower, I would like to come visit after the baby is born. Talk to you soon." WHATEVER. She wasn't supposed to RSVP to me, first of all...it was supposed to be my mom or my mother in law, they were the ones listed on the invite as the contact for RSVP anyway. Second of all...why even bother to call the DAY before the shower? It's OBVIOUS that you had no intention of going to the shower- most ppl responded within 2 weeks after it was sent out. It didn't sit well with me...and still doesn't. I'm not going to let it ruin my day. All it did was further open up my eyes to the fact that yet another "friend" really IS NOT a friend at all. Friends don't do things like this. Another so called "friend" Miss G I'll call her- never responded to the invitation at ALL. I did this girl SOOOOO many favors over the years. And the least she could do is respond to an invitation. Basically, I am writing her off as well. She'll never hear from me again. If she can't be a friend to me now, then she isn't my friend. She's someone who uses you for what you can do for her and then never comes through for you when you need her. So adios to Miss G. She can find someone else to rip off original choreo from now. She can kiss my ass!
Angst aside... the people that count are coming to the event. I don't have too many of my friends there, as my mom kept lamenting- you don't have ANYONE to invite? Not even from work?? To which I reponded- no I don't feel comfortable inviting ANYONE from that place. And it's a good thing too- look what ended up happening! I am being laid off anyway and I won't have any contact with any of those people after my little boy is born. Besides, I feel really strongly that my pics of the event do not contain random people that I have no connection to on a long term basis. That's just my feeling on this. I think it's a pretty sound theory. I'll look at these pics years from now and go...who the heck is that??? It just makes good sense to me.
Now for a baby update:
I had my 35 week ultrasound yesterday- my baby is 6 lbs! My placenta is still previa, meaning it's still low, even though it DID move up a lot since last ultrasound- but it's not likely to really move out of the way of the cervix enough that I can deliver naturally. My doc doesn't want me to go into labor and have contractions b/c it could cause bleeding, and it is PROFUSE bleeding when that happens...and that would mean an emergency C section with the possibility of fetal distress. So I left off with her yesterday that we are likely going to schedule me for a C section at 37 or 38 weeks- that is only 2 -3 weeks away! She is going to consult with a perinatologist and let me know Monday what his opinion is regarding the timing of the section, and if he feels it's necessary for me to take an amnio to determine the fetal lung maturity prior to the C section. I am supposed to hear from her on Monday about that news.
I am a little hesitant about the C section part, because it IS still a major surgery- however, I think I am MORE afraid of natural childbirth and the actual labor process...being in pain for 24 hrs etc.
As far as how this will affect my seperation agreement with work, I am not sure. I will have to wait until I know a date to be scheduled before I can figure out what they will do. The way they had it set up, I would not really be returning to work after the baby- I would go out on leave and never come back- with him coming a few weeks early, it leaves a gap- and I am wondering if they would seriously make me go back for a week or 2 weeks and then leave. I'd rather not go back there after he is born. I already have it in my head that I don't want to see that place ever again after I leave. Once I am gone, I am gone for good.
I will have to wait and see how that goes, and of course, I will be updating on here...
That's it and that's all!
Angst aside... the people that count are coming to the event. I don't have too many of my friends there, as my mom kept lamenting- you don't have ANYONE to invite? Not even from work?? To which I reponded- no I don't feel comfortable inviting ANYONE from that place. And it's a good thing too- look what ended up happening! I am being laid off anyway and I won't have any contact with any of those people after my little boy is born. Besides, I feel really strongly that my pics of the event do not contain random people that I have no connection to on a long term basis. That's just my feeling on this. I think it's a pretty sound theory. I'll look at these pics years from now and go...who the heck is that??? It just makes good sense to me.
Now for a baby update:
I had my 35 week ultrasound yesterday- my baby is 6 lbs! My placenta is still previa, meaning it's still low, even though it DID move up a lot since last ultrasound- but it's not likely to really move out of the way of the cervix enough that I can deliver naturally. My doc doesn't want me to go into labor and have contractions b/c it could cause bleeding, and it is PROFUSE bleeding when that happens...and that would mean an emergency C section with the possibility of fetal distress. So I left off with her yesterday that we are likely going to schedule me for a C section at 37 or 38 weeks- that is only 2 -3 weeks away! She is going to consult with a perinatologist and let me know Monday what his opinion is regarding the timing of the section, and if he feels it's necessary for me to take an amnio to determine the fetal lung maturity prior to the C section. I am supposed to hear from her on Monday about that news.
I am a little hesitant about the C section part, because it IS still a major surgery- however, I think I am MORE afraid of natural childbirth and the actual labor process...being in pain for 24 hrs etc.
As far as how this will affect my seperation agreement with work, I am not sure. I will have to wait until I know a date to be scheduled before I can figure out what they will do. The way they had it set up, I would not really be returning to work after the baby- I would go out on leave and never come back- with him coming a few weeks early, it leaves a gap- and I am wondering if they would seriously make me go back for a week or 2 weeks and then leave. I'd rather not go back there after he is born. I already have it in my head that I don't want to see that place ever again after I leave. Once I am gone, I am gone for good.
I will have to wait and see how that goes, and of course, I will be updating on here...
That's it and that's all!
Friday, January 9, 2009
35 Weeks and on the job hunt again
I got the bad news yesterday.....I am losing my job AGAIN....getting laid off for the 2nd time in just under a year. I am still in shock. I am being kept on until I go out for maternity leave- they will pay me for the 6 weeks, then after that I get a big 2 weeks severance pay. I already contacted a labor lawyer and basically I can't pursue any legal action b/c they have covered their bases. They are "eliminating" my position, and b/c it's being eliminated, they don't have to guarantee me a job to come back to after the baby, not to mention, I didn't even get an entire year of service in, my anniversary date is April 21st. So I didn't even stand a chance.
Looking back on the past few months, I don't know if there were any obvious signs. I think that once I got the Dr's note that limited my hours of work to only 40 hrs per week, I think that got them thinking that I would not be able to continue working 50 + hours a week once the baby was born. Realistically, I kept thinking this myself- how the hell was I going to be able to do that job with a newborn? Working at least 7 am to 5 pm (with some days required to stay until 6 pm) and trying to nurse the baby was going to be next to impossible. I wondered how I was going to be able to pump during the day also. I doubt that they would have been accomodating to allow me the access to a private area (not a bathroom) to pump. I think they just didn't want to deal with the potential sick days I'd have to take if the baby was sick, and the leaving early to take him to the Dr's, etc. I think they they started planning this as soon as they saw that I was pregnant. Of course, it is impossible to prove that this was the reason. But in the depths of my soul I KNOW that is what happened. They refused to give me any kind of performance evaluation, I should have had some sort of merit raise after 6 months... I never was made eligible for the bonuses, despite the fact that I took over a higher level position that should have been entitled to it. I knew that this was not the best company, but I was happy that I was employed, and now I am in a spot where I won't have a 3 month severance to carry me like last year. I don't know what I am going to do....but I must reinvent myself again. Perhaps this is the time now that I should completely switch gears and go into a different field altogether. Something medical- they always need people in medical. It's a serious consideration, I don't want to fall victim to another corporation that will lay you off with no concern at all.
Despite the shock, I don't really have any roots at the place. I never made any close friends there. I was always wary of people's intentions and their allegiances. It's just as well. I guess you could say that I can move on easier because I am less emotionally invested in the place. The layoff is not due to performance, but to lost business, etc. Even with the lost business, they gained more big business in it's place, so I really think it's an excuse to get rid of the preggo..but whatever.
I will have to start over, and rise from the ashes like the proverbial phoenix once again.
That's it and that's all....
Looking back on the past few months, I don't know if there were any obvious signs. I think that once I got the Dr's note that limited my hours of work to only 40 hrs per week, I think that got them thinking that I would not be able to continue working 50 + hours a week once the baby was born. Realistically, I kept thinking this myself- how the hell was I going to be able to do that job with a newborn? Working at least 7 am to 5 pm (with some days required to stay until 6 pm) and trying to nurse the baby was going to be next to impossible. I wondered how I was going to be able to pump during the day also. I doubt that they would have been accomodating to allow me the access to a private area (not a bathroom) to pump. I think they just didn't want to deal with the potential sick days I'd have to take if the baby was sick, and the leaving early to take him to the Dr's, etc. I think they they started planning this as soon as they saw that I was pregnant. Of course, it is impossible to prove that this was the reason. But in the depths of my soul I KNOW that is what happened. They refused to give me any kind of performance evaluation, I should have had some sort of merit raise after 6 months... I never was made eligible for the bonuses, despite the fact that I took over a higher level position that should have been entitled to it. I knew that this was not the best company, but I was happy that I was employed, and now I am in a spot where I won't have a 3 month severance to carry me like last year. I don't know what I am going to do....but I must reinvent myself again. Perhaps this is the time now that I should completely switch gears and go into a different field altogether. Something medical- they always need people in medical. It's a serious consideration, I don't want to fall victim to another corporation that will lay you off with no concern at all.
Despite the shock, I don't really have any roots at the place. I never made any close friends there. I was always wary of people's intentions and their allegiances. It's just as well. I guess you could say that I can move on easier because I am less emotionally invested in the place. The layoff is not due to performance, but to lost business, etc. Even with the lost business, they gained more big business in it's place, so I really think it's an excuse to get rid of the preggo..but whatever.
I will have to start over, and rise from the ashes like the proverbial phoenix once again.
That's it and that's all....
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