35 Weeks and on the job hunt again

I got the bad news yesterday.....I am losing my job AGAIN....getting laid off for the 2nd time in just under a year. I am still in shock. I am being kept on until I go out for maternity leave- they will pay me for the 6 weeks, then after that I get a big 2 weeks severance pay. I already contacted a labor lawyer and basically I can't pursue any legal action b/c they have covered their bases. They are "eliminating" my position, and b/c it's being eliminated, they don't have to guarantee me a job to come back to after the baby, not to mention, I didn't even get an entire year of service in, my anniversary date is April 21st. So I didn't even stand a chance.

Looking back on the past few months, I don't know if there were any obvious signs. I think that once I got the Dr's note that limited my hours of work to only 40 hrs per week, I think that got them thinking that I would not be able to continue working 50 + hours a week once the baby was born. Realistically, I kept thinking this myself- how the hell was I going to be able to do that job with a newborn? Working at least 7 am to 5 pm (with some days required to stay until 6 pm) and trying to nurse the baby was going to be next to impossible. I wondered how I was going to be able to pump during the day also. I doubt that they would have been accomodating to allow me the access to a private area (not a bathroom) to pump. I think they just didn't want to deal with the potential sick days I'd have to take if the baby was sick, and the leaving early to take him to the Dr's, etc. I think they they started planning this as soon as they saw that I was pregnant. Of course, it is impossible to prove that this was the reason. But in the depths of my soul I KNOW that is what happened. They refused to give me any kind of performance evaluation, I should have had some sort of merit raise after 6 months... I never was made eligible for the bonuses, despite the fact that I took over a higher level position that should have been entitled to it. I knew that this was not the best company, but I was happy that I was employed, and now I am in a spot where I won't have a 3 month severance to carry me like last year. I don't know what I am going to do....but I must reinvent myself again. Perhaps this is the time now that I should completely switch gears and go into a different field altogether. Something medical- they always need people in medical. It's a serious consideration, I don't want to fall victim to another corporation that will lay you off with no concern at all.

Despite the shock, I don't really have any roots at the place. I never made any close friends there. I was always wary of people's intentions and their allegiances. It's just as well. I guess you could say that I can move on easier because I am less emotionally invested in the place. The layoff is not due to performance, but to lost business, etc. Even with the lost business, they gained more big business in it's place, so I really think it's an excuse to get rid of the preggo..but whatever.


I will have to start over, and rise from the ashes like the proverbial phoenix once again.

That's it and that's all....