The baby is 2 weeks old today- and I have to say, he is the most precious thing in the world to me, I love him unconditionally and with no reservations. However, I am really really worn out. Round the clock feedings every 3 hours (I am breast feeding) and the intermittent crying jags have me totally sleep deprived. Hubby was home with me this week to help out, but he goes back to work on Monday and then I am totally alone with the baby and I am really nervous about it. I am always fearful that something will happen when I am alone in the house and I am not even able to drive yet b.c of the healing from the C section. On top of that, I am also nervous about taking him out by myself once I am cleared to drive again. I have a lot of fears and it's really bad b/c even though I have always been on the nervous side, it seems to have intensified now that I have the baby. I waited 10 years to have this baby, and now I don't want to take any chances that he will be hurt or even uncomfortable in any way. I know it's irrational, but I don't know how to stop. Maybe this is the post partum depression that I have heard about... I do get a little weepy at times, but I attribute that to the hormones.
Another issue I am having is with my in laws. My mother in law in particular. I can't stand her anymore. She is way too pushy and is encroaching on my personal space in my own house. Yesterday, my in laws just showed up without any notice and I just about flipped out. I deserve at least the courtesy of a phone call. To make it worse, they just WALK in to my house without knocking first. I breast feed the baby in the living room when there is no one in the house and I also pump there because there is a TV to watch while I do it. If I can't feel secure in my own house that I won't have to be embarrassed, then where can I possibly be? I gave Hubby an ultimatum- he has to put his foot down about them calling before they just drop in or else I will have their names removed from the guest list at the front gate and I will have the locks changed on the house. I am totally serious about it. I don't think I should have to worry about my modesty in my own house, it's not fair for me to have to worry that someone will walk in on me with my boob hanging out. Breastfeeding is a personal decision for me and I am self conscious enough as it is that my boobs are freakoshly huge right now- I do not want an audience staring at them on top of it all.
So that's my angst for the day- I am still working on the birth announcements (another thing that the in laws are annoying me to get out in the mail- as if I have had NOTHING at all to do but work on that for the past 2 weeks!) hopefully those will be completed this weekend and go out in the mail by Monday.
That's it and that's all for now....
Friday, February 20, 2009
Sunday, February 15, 2009
I'm a Mommy now!
On Feb 6, 2009 at 7:56 am, I became a Mommy for the first time..my son was born via C Section and it has redefined my world as I know it. I never realized how in love I would be with this baby until I finally saw him. He was 7 lbs, 14 oz and 20.5 in long. He's absolutely precious and I could never imagine there being a time when he wasn't with me.
He had a little bit of a rough start, he was in the NICU for the first 30 hrs because he had fluid in his lungs and had to be suctioned, then he developed jaundice on Day 3 and had to be blood tested every day until Day 7 when it was determined that it was clearing up. Now he is home and doing pretty well I think. I am breast feeding, pumping and using some formula as well. It's working out so far. I am still trying to adjust to the every 3 hour feeding schedule around the clock, and going without sleep in order to do it. I try to snatch a nap whenever I can- I should have been sleeping all this time this morning when the baby was sleeping but I really wanted to get online and post and check email too- I literally have had no time to do that. It's amazing how much work one little person can be. I think we do 5 small loads of laundry per day just of his clothing, bedding, etc. He almost always throws up or pees on something right after we dress him in it, or put him on it in the case of the bassinet sheets. My hubby is at wits end with the laundry... I told him, this is what parenthood is like...just roll with it. He's having a hard time adjusting..I hope he gets better with it soon, because I need his support as much as possible.
So, I guess I will sign off now...I will TRY to get on here with updates as my little one develops. He really IS the most beautiful baby I have ever seen.... :)
That's it and that's all...
:)
He had a little bit of a rough start, he was in the NICU for the first 30 hrs because he had fluid in his lungs and had to be suctioned, then he developed jaundice on Day 3 and had to be blood tested every day until Day 7 when it was determined that it was clearing up. Now he is home and doing pretty well I think. I am breast feeding, pumping and using some formula as well. It's working out so far. I am still trying to adjust to the every 3 hour feeding schedule around the clock, and going without sleep in order to do it. I try to snatch a nap whenever I can- I should have been sleeping all this time this morning when the baby was sleeping but I really wanted to get online and post and check email too- I literally have had no time to do that. It's amazing how much work one little person can be. I think we do 5 small loads of laundry per day just of his clothing, bedding, etc. He almost always throws up or pees on something right after we dress him in it, or put him on it in the case of the bassinet sheets. My hubby is at wits end with the laundry... I told him, this is what parenthood is like...just roll with it. He's having a hard time adjusting..I hope he gets better with it soon, because I need his support as much as possible.
So, I guess I will sign off now...I will TRY to get on here with updates as my little one develops. He really IS the most beautiful baby I have ever seen.... :)
That's it and that's all...
:)
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