And they did it again...

So last nite I am checking out my FB page and I see an status message from one of my former co-workers at USA A-hole Company that said that there were more layoffs again. I am amazed that this place can continue to function without all the people. They laid off 52 ppl in January (which included yours truly) then in July I know they got rid of the HR contact that I was friendly with (not sure if there were others at that point.) then I heard of the 10 people that were let go yesterday, one of whom was a buyer. I also found out from this former co-worker that they let go another buyer only 2 weeks ago, and there is a rumor of yet one more getting the ax! All I have to say is that I feel a little bit better knowing this....not because I am happy about anyone losing their job, quite the contrary...it's more the confirmation that it was a totally non-personal decision to get rid of me when they did. I think that even if I had been kept on up until now, I'd still be in jeopardy of getting laid off, and if not, then I'd be SO overworked that I'd be a panic ridden mess. More and more I believe that it was God's plan to get me out of that place at that time. It gave me time to truly focus on my baby boy, and hopefully figure out what I need to do next. I am still uncertain where this path will lead me...but I will continue to have faith that God is guiding my hand in it.

Speaking of my little boy...he's 7 months old. He is sitting up pretty well now (with some help to get there) and is "army crawling" on the floor. I am also proud to announce that he is now sleeping in his crib at night, although he is still not sleeping through the night every night...I get up at least once to nurse him in the middle of the night...I think that he wakes up and realizes he is alone and gets upset..but hopefully the longer he stays in there the better things will be in the end. I wake up and check on him at least once a night aside from when he wakes himself up anyway. I have a little bit of anxiety with him away from me...for his entire life I have had him by my side. I feel like something is missing when he's not there...it's hard to explain if you have never had a baby. It's an adjustment for me as much as for him.

Anyway, that's the most recent update on former job and baby...

That's it and that's all!

A Day To Reflect- Never Forget

Today is 9/11/09, and 8 years ago today was the attack on our country that killed 3,000 citizens going about their day, not knowing that it would be their last. I remember that day and the following ones so vividly, it seems like it was only yesterday. I remember being on the phone with Shell that Tuesday morning during our daily morning call when she was commuting to work. At 8:46 am, I heard on my radio that there was a plane crash at the WTC tower 1... I remember saying..OMG how does a pilot do that by accident? My first thought was that the pilot was ill...maybe passed out or had a heart attack or something...then the 2nd plane hit and I knew that we had been attacked...it was such a sickening feeling... I remember Shell getting very upset... her hubby worked down in that area and couldn't get a hold of him for hours...My cousin worked on Wall Street and I feared for his safety as well... I was so relieved when he called us later that evening and let us know that he was ok...He had to walk over the bridge into Brooklyn and catch a train from there to get home to Long Island..it took hours he said. My hubby's cousin and then gf (now wife) had an apartment just a block or 2 away from there... their place was covered in soot and ash and the air quality was so terrible that they ended up leaving the place and moving out to CT nearer to her parents to get away from it. Despite all that, I feel fortunate that I didn't have a personal connection to a loss at that place. It could have been much much worse... I visited the site back in 2005. It was all cleaned up by then, but the surrounding buildings were still heavily damaged and had scaffolding and tarps on them. You weren't allowed to photograph any of them, they had cops there making sure that was not happening. Not really sure why, but they said it had something to do with security. It was never explained sufficiently.

So today I reflect on that terrible day and remember the victims of that attack, including the first responders of the NYPD and the Firefighters that gave their lives trying to save others. I pray for their souls, and I pray that something like this can never happen again.

God Bless America.

That's it and that's all....

The job hunt continues....

So it's the month of September- I have been out of work for 7 months now. My baby boy continues to grow and progress...he eats cereal and fruit, rolls and scoots on the floor, enjoys his exersaucer and jumperoo and his TV shows on Noggin. I have been looking for work and there has been NOTHING out there for me. This week was a good week- I found 2 jobs to apply to on Careerbuilder, but so far I have not heard a thing. At this point I am pessimistic about finding any kind of employment in 2009. I pray daily for a referral to a job. Despite a lot of networking, I have turned up very little. The job situation in FL continues to be bleak.

My spot of joy is my baby boy. He is literally the light of my life, and I don't think I'd get out of bed in the morning if it weren't for him. He keeps me going- mostly because baby care is all consuming, and the reward of his development is my incentive as well. He laughs all the time, he is learning new things all the time, like "clap hands". I taught him that in 2 days. He's a bright and observant little one. I look forward to seeing more of his discoveries about life. Maybe this is what I am supposed to be doing at this time- just being a Mom to him and caring for him. I have to keep faith that God has me in this situation for a reason, and I need to work through it. In God all things are possible, I truly believe that.

I don't have much more to say, but to keep your children close to you, enjoy them and have faith that all is how it is supposed to be.

That's it and that's all!

Supremely disappointed....

Well, I think I have my answer on that part time purchasing position.... they must have filled the job...because I just got the return receipt from the HR person that said "deleted- not read" so basically I was just given the virtual middle finger! What I cannot understand is WHY I couldn't get a response back from them at all? Is there no more professional courtesy out there? Is it that difficult to say..."Thank you for your interest, but the position has been filled."??

I am so angry about this right now, and I know I probably should just blow it off, but I SWEAR this keeps happening over and over again with these companies...I mean for Pete's sake they had me interview with them, so I had personal contact with these people- the correct thing would be to let me know the status of the position!!!

I can't believe that it was erased without even being read...that is the ultimate insult!!! I bet this lady reads all her emails in the preview pane... She had to have seen it and known... or maybe she just didn't recognize my email address and ust deleted it..but that would be DUMB considering that she had emailed me originally to give me the interview information. Any way you look at this, it is RUDE and UNPROFESSIONAL.

I pray to GOD that this economy picks up soon...employers need to be put on notice that a recession is not an excuse to treat workers so badly. They get away with it because there is such desperation to find and keep jobs that no one will do anything about this type of treatment.

I continue my fruitless search for gainful employment and keep praying for something to happen for me. I have to put my trust in God that all things happen for a reason and his plan will be revealed in time.

My rant is over for now... praying for a better day today.

That's it and that's all for now!!!

6 months already???

I can't believe that my baby boy turned 6 months old last week on the 6th...I have been too busy with him to post anything...he's very active and wants 100% of my attention at all times...he's so much like his father it's not even funny...

He's rolling over all over the place these days...and he is eating cereal and fruit, grabbing and picking up toys and today starting HITTING me...lol...out of nowhere while he was nursing today, his left arm just started hitting my boob as he was eating...I was like..what the hell is this??? LOL...I guess he's learning how to use his appendages. He tries to get up on his knees now..and he sleeps on his belly. It's amazing how he likes to be on his tummy now, a couple of months ago he hated it and I had to force tummy time on him. Go figure... babies are amazing. That's all I can say about that.

Well, it's been over a month since I interviewed for that part time job, and I haven't heard a peep back from them at all! I did everything that you are supposed to do for follow up: I sent a thank you note the next day after the interview (sent on 7/8), I sent an email following up on some information that the guy wanted (sent on 7/10) and left a voice mail message on his phone ( on 7/31.) I marked the email return receipt, and I never got the receipt back, so I am assuming that it was deleted without being read. Today I decided to contact the HR person at that company to see if I could get some sort of response, I emailed her with a return receipt and so far nothing. I don't understand what happened here...the day I interviewed, the guy acted like he was ready to hire me on the spot..and made it sound like I would be hearing from them as soon as he returned from the 3 week long business trip to China. I had SUCH a good feeling about this job and I am so confused why I can't even get an update from them on the status of the position. If they hired someone, couldn't they at least give me the courtesy of a response to my inquiry? It makes no sense, and it makes an even worse impression. It makes me think twice about this company... if they treat you this way as an applicant, how to they treat the employees?

I guess I should adopt the attitude that if it was the right thing for me, it would have come through...but I at least would appreciate some feedback from them as to why I wasn't the right fit for them so I can fine tune my presentation at my next interview. That would be professional courtesy.

So, here goes again...I continue to look and pray that the right thing is there for me that I seek...

Keep your fingers crossed! That's it and that's all for now!!

Need to rant a bit....

I think I have mentioned my MIL before...I refer to her as "Annoying Grandma" because she has been SO irritating to me in regards to my son. She continues to push my buttons as the days and weeks go by- and I am getting to the point where I may say or do something I may regret...so I am venting here...

This woman is the biggest, pushiest, most annoying person I have ever known. Nothing I say or do regarding the baby is ok with her...she calls all of my parenting decisions into question....I am at the end of my rope here..ready to strangle her with it if she doesn't stop the incessant smothering.

She hates that I am nursing...she thinks I am "starving" the baby and he's not eating enough if it's only breast milk- I now supplement with formula, but she thinks he should be eating a lot more solid food ("I was feeding my kids at 3 months old with solid foods and they turned out ok!") I started the baby on rice cereal, and she questioned that... "Rice is so constipating, why don't you give him applesauce?" I tell her NO the Dr recommends no fruits until 7 months. "But applesauce shouldn't be a problem!" Again, NO he needs to get used to 1 type of food at a time, and no fruits yet.

She harps on the fact that the baby has reflux and spits up alot- She calls several times a week to ask if he's still spitting up...when I tell her yes, she will say something like..."Oh, intestinal troubles run in your family don't they? You have a lot of stomach issues...." GOD IN HEAVEN... my stomach issues were always due to nerves...since adulthood I have realized that all of those "stomach aches" etc were due to anxiety and stress. This woman creates a lot of stress and anxiety for me. I truly detest her.

She harps on weight all the time. As if I don't have enough of that from my OWN mother, I need it from this woman too? "Your husband is getting fat, you need to make him exercise." All the while looking at ME up and down because I have put on weight that I haven't been able to take off yet since the pregnancy began. She is unreasonable about weight.... my SIL (Hubby's sister) has a little girl that my MIL believes is too fat...the child is 1 1/2 yrs old and within a normal percentile according to the pediatrician. She bases this misguided assumption of "fatness" on the fact that the child has a little pot belly...she is a BABY...for crying out loud!!! After her repeating this over a few times, I finally said to her..."If the Dr isn't worried about her weight, then you should leave it alone! And by the way, if you ever decide to pick on my son this way I will NOT ALLOW it and it will NOT be tolerated!" This woman is the devil I swear!!

I know this is most likely an irrational rant to most anyone who reads it, but know this: all the content is real...this woman tortures me on a daily basis and she does it when she knows that my husband isn't home so she can get away with it. I can't avoid the phone calls, because if I don't answer, she will hang up and keep calling back until I answer..and if I don't answer the house phone, she will call my cell phone. I detest this woman.

Now she has it in her head that we need to eat dinner with her EVERY Sunday...I want to just curl up in a fetal ball and disappear! Hubby and I need alone time to be a family with our son...I am sick and tired of being bullied! A simple visit isn't enough for her...now we have to be up her ass for an entire day and I am SOOOOOOOO dreading it!!!

Ok that's it for my rant... I needed to get this off my chest....

No one is reading this blog anyway, so this was purely indulgent on my part...

That's it and that's all!

Need to get some things off my chest...

I don't normally post more than once in a day...or even in a week, but I feel compelled to do it because I have nowhere else to vent.....

My topic of choice today is family and "friends"...

1) FAMILY- Mine is not always the easiest to deal with- they are dysfunctional, difficult and dynamic. I have a hard relationship with my mother, my mother in law and my sister in law. My mother in law (MIL) is extremely pushy - the classic Jewish mother. She puts her 2 cents in on every topic imaginable and annoys me to the point that I wish that she would just disappear into the cosmos never to be seen again. The other day, she said that I should "stop starving the baby and start feeding him real food already." This is because she does not support my breastfeeding my son. She seems threatened by that for some odd reason. The woman is making me hate being married to my husband, because I have to deal with her! She makes me miserable, bottom line. This post would be 2 miles long if I detailed everything she has done to make me miserable since I had my son. So in the interest of length, I will leave it at that. Now on to my Mom. She's pushy too- a classic Italian mom... and she makes me insane also. She doesn't drive, but has taken me on more guilt trips than any Jewish mother could inflict on a child. She has mental issues (anxiety, depression, claustrophobia and social anxiety) that she has never sought help for and never intends to. Thus, she tortures her family as a result. It's always been hard for me to deal with her..she has been hypercritical of me from birth, I often think that she harbors resentment towards me for being born. I always say that she hates me, and I think there is some truth to it, even though she would never admit to it. And finally, my sister in law. The one in question is the one married to my brother, not my husband's sister (that one is another issue- she's just plain bizarre, but harmless.) This SIL is quite a piece of work. She has issues with attention..she MUST have 100% attention of everyone in the room or she is miserable. She likes to make mountains out of molehills and create drama where there isn't any. Case in point: Last nite we all went out to a Chinese buffet (not my choice, I would have rather stayed at home.)
Hubby was taking pics of all the grandkids, as we were all together in one place and that doesn't often happen. Now, let me preface this by saying that I know that Hubby's comment was dumb, but he was not being malicious about it- this was the comment... as he showed a pic of my sister's 2 kids with my baby to my mom, he said, "Look, here's a picture of your 3 favorite grandchildren!" He said it in a joking way, and meant it to be a joke, he didn't mean that literally. My SIL apparently was really bothered by it, because this morning she posted a cryptic status message on Facebook something to the effect "I wish people would think before they speak, I'd like to put my foot in their mouth!" I of course was puzzled about it, but called my Mom today to ask if she knew if SIL was on the rampage about something...and she said that she bets it was my Hubby's remark. Lovely. Now I have to deal with the drama that will ensue from this. Because SIL posted that status message, she is prompting people to ask what's wrong, and then she will continue her passive aggressive assault on me and Hubby and play the victim. Oh Boo Hoo...her children not being labeled favorites (which I can assure anyone reading this that her girls ARE favorites of my Mom's, especially since they live next door- Mom always denies the favoritism, but it's obvious.) She is looking for MORE attention..it's ALWAYS about HER. ALWAYS.

2) "FRIENDS"- I put the word in quotes because in my life, I do not have many real friends. In fact, people that I thought were my friends later showed themselves not to be friends at all. I can count 1 person as a true friend, and she lives an hour away from me and I don't get to see her much. My other "friend" Shell, has recently proved that she is not my friend after all....I have known her for 20 years, but there was always a conditional friendship there...I'll be your friend IF there is nothing else going on that I deem more important. I am disappointed in her...I really believed that she grew out of the immature "blowing off" of friends. I guess people never change. I am still annoyed about B and being blown off for my baby shower...she never called me when the baby was born, and never sent a gift either. Very rude .

I guess I am rambling now. I don't enjoy this kind of aggravation..I'm glad that I got that off my chest. :)

That's it and that's all!