It's been a long, long time.....

Happy Black Friday! I will proudly say that I DID NOT participate in the insane door buster sales at any of the big box stores. After seeing the news stories today I know that I had the right idea. Shop online. Save time and aggravation. I'm all about the time management these days. "I ain't got time for that!" Life is too damned busy for that nonsense. :)

Well, where to start? I haven't touched this blog in a year and a half. Life has a way of getting in the way of writing about it, however, I am going to at least put an update, I can't promise regular postings. 

Baby boy is 4 1/2 years old, in VPK 5 days a week. He starts Kindergarten in the fall. Where did the time go? Didn't I just have a baby not that long ago? He is fiercely independent, smart and adorable. I love him and he is my heart!

Family wise, lots of stuff going on. My mom had to have open heart surgery in October, thank God she is ok. My sister is going through a divorce that is so acrimonious and horrible it's been terrible. She has lost her job and her home, and I fear she has lost her mind as well. This is what has consumed my attention and worry for the past year or so. I pray that everything works out and she gets back on her feet for every one's sake, especially the kids.

As for the "bad friend"- she is no longer in my life at all. A few months ago I noticed that she deleted me on FB. So long, sayonara, arrivederci, goodbye. I had pretty much had her on restricted status so she couldn't see my updates anyway, so I guess she just deleted me. Oh well. No biggie. She is in my past now, and I am surviving without her. I have more than enough drama in my family to keep me busy, no need for anything additional.

The job is still going well. I have it really good there, and I love it. I can only hope that things continue to be on the up and up there. Praise God!

And that's it for now! I hope to update a LITTLE more often than I have been. I'll try to be better. :)

Ciao!

Ch-Ch-Cha Changes...

Wow, this has been a crazy year! This is the year that I FINALLY got full time employment.
O-M-G it's been sooooo long!!! Long story short: My old boss left, they moved some idiot from another department into mine to help cover his old duties, said idiot gets caught stealing company property on camera and gets fired a few months later. I have never been so happy for someone else's failure; if it weren't for this moron, I would still be only part time with no benefits. :)  Now I have all the holidays paid, I have personal/sick time and vacation time. And here's the kicker- they even gave me a RAISE without my asking for it. So this has been a win win overall. I am actually ALMOST at the same rate of pay I had at the first company that laid me off, starting off this chain of unemployment and underemployment. I finally feel like I have emerged from the dark and into the light. I am finally happy in a job. I am beyond thrilled and grateful. Thank you GOD!!


Now on to the baby boy update: My little one is 3 years, 4 months old now. He goes to preschool, and this whole summer he is attending summer camp 3 days a week all day! He is finally getting the hang of the potty training, it's been a very long process encouraging him to go poop on the potty. I had to take all of his favorite toys away, "The Potty Fairy" swooped in one night and cleared out his playroom and got him thinking that if he could go on the potty and not in his pants, then he could get toys back one at a time.


This has been going on for 3 weeks, and this week it finally clicked and we have had 5 days of no poop accidents. I am not ready to declare him "trained" yet, I'm trying not to tempt fate here... ;)


As for the bad friend situation- I can honestly say that I have had no contact with her for months. I had one or 2 text exchanges and left it at that. It's pointless to call her, b/c she will never answer or return the call, so I just let it be. I am not going to participate in this one sided friendship any longer. I am not going to feed her ego by always being there for her when she finally feels like calling me to "catch up".  She called a few weeks back and I ignored the call. She didn't even bother to leave a message, so I wasn't about to call her to find out the reason for her call. I think I have finally realized that I don't need to have her friendship to feel like I have a friend. I have many friends that I have put up a "wall" with and not become close to in order to preserve her BFF status. The problem is, she never did that for me, and I was always someone expendable to her. It is much like a breakup or a divorce. Call it a friendship divorce, only without the acrimonius exchanges in an actual marital divorce. I have downgraded  her status literally (on FB) and figuratively (in my mind) to acquaintance status. If I run into her on the street, I'll be polite and say hello, maybe have a little catch up session, but under no circumstances will I allow her to worm her way into my life again. I am through with the dysfunction. I have enough of it in my own family that I can't get rid of as easily.


So to sum up- I am pretty happy with the career, mothering and friend front. I am still a work in progress on the weight loss thing. I need to get on that one, stat!


One thing at a time...


That's it and that's all....

Goodbye, Daydream Believer

Today is Leap Day- 2/29/2012. It's an event that only happens every 4 years. Today I will remember for another reason. Today, the music world lost an icon.



Yes, I am a Monkee-maniac - a throw back to the 80's when the Monkees made their triumphant reappearance on the music scene. I was 13 years old at the time, and I was smitten by Davy Jones. I was a typically obsessed teen fangirl: I had every vinyl recording, paperback book, teenybopper magazine,television show and interview recorded. I knew every episode of the Monkees show by heart- I could recite the dialogue from any given episode and knew the names of each one, and the episode order memorized.

My highlight of those years was seeing the Monkees reunion tour in concert in 1986. It was my first ever show- and it was the best thing I had ever seen to that point in my life.

Years later, when I was a senior in high school, I had the pleasure of finally meeting Davy Jones in person. I met him twice- once after his performance as Fagin in the musical "Oliver!" and once at a booksigning for his book "They Made a Monkee Out of Me." I carry the distinction of being the only fan to have him "lock" my class ring. I saved that last turn on my ring for Davy. In typical fashion, he was gracious about doing it, despite not being aware of that particular custom (it must be an American custom, he had never heard of it.) I remember his daughter, who was also in the production of "Oliver!", thought it was was funny that he had no clue about that particular tradition.

I remember him being very warm and down to earth. You never would have known that he was a "star" or a celebrity. Over 20 years later, I still vividly remember those 2 encounters with such fondness. Davy Jones was my first ever celebrity crush, and now that he is gone, I feel a little bit empty inside. The closest thing I can compare it to is the feeling of loss that many of John Lennon's fans felt when he died. For those of us that grew up with the Monkees, both the original 60's fans and the 20 yr anniversary fans, we all feel this loss. For many of us, Davy represented the first of many celebrity crushes and he will always have that distinction in our hearts for that reason.

Davy, I know that you are now in heaven. I pray that God holds you in his arms and gives comfort to your grieving family. Heaven received another angel today.

Rest in peace Davy. Until we meet again....

That's it and that's all.

Happy New Year 2012!

Well, it's a new calendar year- maybe this will be the beginning of things looking up for me. The Christmas holidays were on the somber side. We managed to get through them though. The first miracle of the new year happened: my parents finally got the loan modification that they had been trying to get for over a year, they will finally be able to keep their home. Thank God, it was such stress on them, and me as well. Now I have my own financial issues to worry about- mostly the fact that Hubby's almost 2 months without income severely hurt our nest egg (what little we had, it wasn't much.) It will takes months to recover from it, especially if I can't get full time employment. I have been actively looking ever since my boss hinted that he was leaving. He told me the other day that he would be leaving pretty soon, that he was lining up another position for himself, etc. No idea how soon is soon. I am terrified of being left at the company after he is gone- I will be thrown to the wolves. I need to get out of there, and fast. The problem is that the job market is still pretty soft for my line of work. Positions are few and far between and have a ton of applicants. I think my resume is being lost in the sea of job seekers. I know I have a great resume, it just needs to get in front of the right person to give me a shot.

Anyway, that is the situation for now. I will really try to get in and post more often, if only to help alleviate my stress level.

That's it and that's all...

And So This Is Christmas....

It's Christmas Eve, and I'm not in the spirit. 2011 really has been a rough year for my family. Hubby had to have heart surgery last month, and his insurance is now denying his short term disability payments. We have not had his income for 6 weeks, and since he only went back to work 2 days ago, there's at least another 2 weeks before we see a paycheck. It's been so stressful that I am completely unable to see the joy of the season. Hubby and I fight constantly- money, child rearing, house chores- it goes on and on. I think I am depressed. I find it really difficult to lift a finger around the house, even though I desperately want the house to be neat and clean. I am worried all the time about if we will be able to make bills, and although I have been looking for a full time job, I've not had any luck with any of the interviews that I have had. I feel like everything is closing in on me and there is no way out. It's a truly terrible feeling, especially at Christmas.

My job is now in an uncertain place- my boss believes that he will be let go any day now. He is stressed to the max and he told me that he is on the verge of quitting. All of this adds up to me having to worry if I will have a job as well. It's bad enough that I have had no benefits with this job, but if I lose it, I don't even think I could get unemployment. It's scary. I have been looking for work so I can leave before that could happen. But so far, it's been an uphill battle.

I continue to feel used and taken advantage of by my family as well. My Mom treats me like a servant that she has at her beck and call. I do her many favors, the biggest of which is to drive her around because she doesn't drive, and I get no thanks. Or, I get minimal thanks and the next day it's forgotten. I am spending $100 per week for gas that I can't afford, and I have to drive 10 miles each way to get to her house and back, not including the running around to different stores. The other day I took her "food shopping" which was supposed to be a trip to 1 grocery store, that turned into 3 different grocery stores and over 4 hours. I used up a 1/4 tank of gas that day. I don't get so much as a thank you, and on top of it, whenever I call her, she snarks at me on the phone and gets snippy with me. I'm so over it all, it's not even funny.

Adding to my foul mood is the fact that Hubby is forced to work both today, Christmas Eve, and tomorrow all day 8-5 on Christmas Day. That was the punishment he got from work for being out on sick leave for 6 weeks. The man just had heart surgery! Corporate bastards should roast in hell!

So anyway, I'm really in a Grinch kind of mood, and I want desperately to have a Christmas miracle- like, to win the Powerball or Lotto tonight. That would solve a lot of my issues.

As for Shell, I've heard from her on and off lately. I don't really go out of my way to seek her out, but I speak to her every few weeks or so. She called yesterday to tell me that she and the daughter were going to drive to NY leaving tonite. She avoids the topic of the bf, but I am sure that is why she is going up there. I just don't have the energy to think about that ridiculous situation, so I leave it alone.

Anyway, that's it for now, Merry Christmas (I think) and praying for a better year in 2012.

9/11/11 - A Somber 10 Year Anniversary

I have been a bad blogger lately, however, I could not let this day go by without writing an entry. I have many thoughts and emotions about this somber 10 year anniversary of the terrorist attacks on our country; thinking about this day 10 years ago brings me right back to that day and the feelings of fear, uncertainty and sadness. I remember where I was at the very moment I heard about the first airplane hitting the WTC: I was at my desk on my daily morning phone call with Shell (she called me every day at work on her commute to her job down south, it was a long trip.) The radio station I had on broke into the programming to announce that there was news out of NYC of a small airplane crashing into the WTC. The speculation was that it was pilot error. As Shell and I discussed what we just heard, they broke into programming again to announce that a SECOND airplane had crashed into the 2nd tower. At that point, we both knew that it was some sort of terror attack, but still had no idea of the magnitude of these 2 crashes.

I remember the radio station switched the programming to keep their morning crew on the air for the entire day- they were as flabbergasted as we all were to hear about this terrible attack.

I remember being so afraid for my family members that lived in NY, especially since I knew some of them worked downtown in Manhattan. My cousin worked on Wall Street at the time and was only a few blocks away from all of that. My husband's cousin lived in an apartment building across from the WTC. It took hours to get word that they were ok- the cell towers were overloaded and we couldn't get through on the phone to call. My cousin ended up walking over the Brooklyn bridge to get to a train to take him home to Long Island. My husband's cousin had to evacuate his apartment, it was covered in dust from the explosions.

When the towers collapsed, it was the most surreal thing I have ever seen. It was sad and terrifying at the same time. We had no idea what this was and why it happened. We all learned that our country's citizens could band together in a brotherhood of common patriotism for our great country, that we could lend helping hands to friends, neighbors and strangers alike. The overwhelming pride and patriotism for the USA. We viewed our police, firefighters and military servicemen with more respect, awe and graciousness than ever before.

That day our country went to war to preserve our way of life here in America. Enemy #1 was named Osama bin Laden. President Bush gave his oath to protect our country from this man and all that he stood for. After nearly 10 years the promise that President Bush made was fulfilled when our Navy Seals team 6 found and dispatched bin Laden. It has come full circle.

I will spend this day reflecting on the past events of this day 10 years ago, but I will also continue to look forward to the future. I will never forget what has happened, but I know that we are resilient, we are proud, and we will persevere.

God Bless the victims, their families and all of the service men and women who have lost their lives in the war on terror. I pray for their souls and for peace for their families.

God Bless America, land of the free and home of the brave!!

More news?

I guess this has been a week for news. 2 things- 1) The more exciting of the 2- I am getting a bonus from work! My boss had to go to bat for me to get them to give it- but I am pleasantly surprised to know I'll be getting it this week! 2) This is another interesting development- Shell called me last night. She pretty much told me that she is breaking it off with that guy. She is sick and tired of the situation. As she put it. "I woke up from my mid-life crisis and went back to being responsible again." Hmm.. interesting. Although I called it- I knew this would eventually end between them, I am not taking this as the complete truth. My take is this- she gave him an ultimatum, he couldn't (or won't) commit, and she said, heck with it. The thing is, she said she still wants to be with him one more time before she breaks it off. ?? Ok, so I asked her if she was planning to tell him in person, and she said, no, I just want to "be with him" one more time. See what I mean? She's still not thinking clearly. I think she's trying to find a way to keep it going, but give the appearance that she's fed up. That's why I am not 100% convinced that she is done with him. I am sure there is even more to the story that she told me. The entire truth will come out in small chunks until I get the entire picture. I knew some of what she admitted to me last night because one of our mutual friends told me some of it almost 2 years ago. She has been holding out on telling me facts and details. It's pretty much status quo with her anyway. So that's the update for now... I am sure I will have more to tell in the coming days... That's it and that's all!