Wow, this has been a crazy year! This is the year that I FINALLY got full time employment.
O-M-G it's been sooooo long!!! Long story short: My old boss left, they moved some idiot from another department into mine to help cover his old duties, said idiot gets caught stealing company property on camera and gets fired a few months later. I have never been so happy for someone else's failure; if it weren't for this moron, I would still be only part time with no benefits. :) Now I have all the holidays paid, I have personal/sick time and vacation time. And here's the kicker- they even gave me a RAISE without my asking for it. So this has been a win win overall. I am actually ALMOST at the same rate of pay I had at the first company that laid me off, starting off this chain of unemployment and underemployment. I finally feel like I have emerged from the dark and into the light. I am finally happy in a job. I am beyond thrilled and grateful. Thank you GOD!!
Now on to the baby boy update: My little one is 3 years, 4 months old now. He goes to preschool, and this whole summer he is attending summer camp 3 days a week all day! He is finally getting the hang of the potty training, it's been a very long process encouraging him to go poop on the potty. I had to take all of his favorite toys away, "The Potty Fairy" swooped in one night and cleared out his playroom and got him thinking that if he could go on the potty and not in his pants, then he could get toys back one at a time.
This has been going on for 3 weeks, and this week it finally clicked and we have had 5 days of no poop accidents. I am not ready to declare him "trained" yet, I'm trying not to tempt fate here... ;)
As for the bad friend situation- I can honestly say that I have had no contact with her for months. I had one or 2 text exchanges and left it at that. It's pointless to call her, b/c she will never answer or return the call, so I just let it be. I am not going to participate in this one sided friendship any longer. I am not going to feed her ego by always being there for her when she finally feels like calling me to "catch up". She called a few weeks back and I ignored the call. She didn't even bother to leave a message, so I wasn't about to call her to find out the reason for her call. I think I have finally realized that I don't need to have her friendship to feel like I have a friend. I have many friends that I have put up a "wall" with and not become close to in order to preserve her BFF status. The problem is, she never did that for me, and I was always someone expendable to her. It is much like a breakup or a divorce. Call it a friendship divorce, only without the acrimonius exchanges in an actual marital divorce. I have downgraded her status literally (on FB) and figuratively (in my mind) to acquaintance status. If I run into her on the street, I'll be polite and say hello, maybe have a little catch up session, but under no circumstances will I allow her to worm her way into my life again. I am through with the dysfunction. I have enough of it in my own family that I can't get rid of as easily.
So to sum up- I am pretty happy with the career, mothering and friend front. I am still a work in progress on the weight loss thing. I need to get on that one, stat!
One thing at a time...
That's it and that's all....
Showing posts with label bad friend. Show all posts
Showing posts with label bad friend. Show all posts
Sunday, June 24, 2012
Sunday, September 19, 2010
Do I or don't I?
So today marks Shell's daughter's Sweet 16 birthday... of course, I should have expected that I would get a phone call today. Highly ironic that on HER daughter's birthday, she would take the time to finally call me back, isn't it?
This all came about because I put a Happy Birthday FB posting to the kid on her page. Shell also had a status stating that her daughter was turning 16 today.She used one of my wedding pics of her daughter (she was my flower girl) and cropped me out of the pic. Basically my comment was that I liked the original pic better with me in it. It kind of aggravated me that she cropped me out. She has SO many pics of all her friends on her page, but none of me and my son...but everyone else gets face time. I know, it's petty, but it still bothered me. To me, it seemed like yet another example of how unimportant I am in her life.
At any rate, this precipitated the obligatory phone call this morning inviting me to the "last minute" birthday bbq. She also made sure to mention that there was a Sweet 16 party in the works, but of course was not yet planned. Whatever. She has known about this for ages, why would she not plan this party ahead of time? WTF? Her very eloquent verbal invite also included the phrase "I understand if you don't want to come." Gee, you think? Do I really want to come to this little last minute soiree for your child? KNOWING that I was a last minute invite? Really? AND bring some sort of present too? No thanks, I'd rather have my wisdom teeth yanked from my head than attend this so called party. If she couldn't come to my boy's 1st party, then there's no way in hell would I have any interest in attending her girl's 16th. She didn't even bother to give him a gift. There's not a chance in hell that I will go to this party, or the one she hasn't planned yet. In my mind, it was a completely disingenuous and insincere invitation, done only to relieve her own guilt for being a crappy friend that can't be bothered to call me back once in a while. In her mind, as long as she extended the invitation, then the ball is in my court. If I refuse to go, she is off the hook once again. This is true, she will be off the hook in her mind, but not in mine.
I told Hubby about this and he said that I should call her back, "Be the bigger person." However, I am sick of being the bigger person. I have been that person for over 20 years. I am always the one who does the right thing and acquieces to her nonsense. This in turn enables her to wiggle her way into my good graces again, setting me up for yet another disappointment when she decides to not be bothered with me once something more titillating comes along; whether it is a new guy, a new friend, or an old friend she reconnected with, no matter, I always rank the lowest on the list. I am tired of being that person.
So as I sit here typing this, I am trying to decide whether I should do one of the following:
1) Return the phone call, and politely decline the "invitation."
2) Don't bother to call back and let her wonder if I ever got the message.
3) Text her back declining the invitation.
4) Call her and then decide to go.
Obviously #4 is out of the question- I don't think that it would be a good idea as it would just enable her to wiggle into my good graces that I don't want her to wiggle into anymore.
#1 is the most civilized option- not sure if I am feeling civilized today.
#2 is the most uncivilized option- not even I am that rude (although she is.)
#3 is the most impersonal option- I am leaning towards this as I have no interest in actually speaking to her.
So right now I have to make a decision how to respond, as the ball is now in my court.... we shall see!
That's it and that's all for now.....
This all came about because I put a Happy Birthday FB posting to the kid on her page. Shell also had a status stating that her daughter was turning 16 today.She used one of my wedding pics of her daughter (she was my flower girl) and cropped me out of the pic. Basically my comment was that I liked the original pic better with me in it. It kind of aggravated me that she cropped me out. She has SO many pics of all her friends on her page, but none of me and my son...but everyone else gets face time. I know, it's petty, but it still bothered me. To me, it seemed like yet another example of how unimportant I am in her life.
At any rate, this precipitated the obligatory phone call this morning inviting me to the "last minute" birthday bbq. She also made sure to mention that there was a Sweet 16 party in the works, but of course was not yet planned. Whatever. She has known about this for ages, why would she not plan this party ahead of time? WTF? Her very eloquent verbal invite also included the phrase "I understand if you don't want to come." Gee, you think? Do I really want to come to this little last minute soiree for your child? KNOWING that I was a last minute invite? Really? AND bring some sort of present too? No thanks, I'd rather have my wisdom teeth yanked from my head than attend this so called party. If she couldn't come to my boy's 1st party, then there's no way in hell would I have any interest in attending her girl's 16th. She didn't even bother to give him a gift. There's not a chance in hell that I will go to this party, or the one she hasn't planned yet. In my mind, it was a completely disingenuous and insincere invitation, done only to relieve her own guilt for being a crappy friend that can't be bothered to call me back once in a while. In her mind, as long as she extended the invitation, then the ball is in my court. If I refuse to go, she is off the hook once again. This is true, she will be off the hook in her mind, but not in mine.
I told Hubby about this and he said that I should call her back, "Be the bigger person." However, I am sick of being the bigger person. I have been that person for over 20 years. I am always the one who does the right thing and acquieces to her nonsense. This in turn enables her to wiggle her way into my good graces again, setting me up for yet another disappointment when she decides to not be bothered with me once something more titillating comes along; whether it is a new guy, a new friend, or an old friend she reconnected with, no matter, I always rank the lowest on the list. I am tired of being that person.
So as I sit here typing this, I am trying to decide whether I should do one of the following:
1) Return the phone call, and politely decline the "invitation."
2) Don't bother to call back and let her wonder if I ever got the message.
3) Text her back declining the invitation.
4) Call her and then decide to go.
Obviously #4 is out of the question- I don't think that it would be a good idea as it would just enable her to wiggle into my good graces that I don't want her to wiggle into anymore.
#1 is the most civilized option- not sure if I am feeling civilized today.
#2 is the most uncivilized option- not even I am that rude (although she is.)
#3 is the most impersonal option- I am leaning towards this as I have no interest in actually speaking to her.
So right now I have to make a decision how to respond, as the ball is now in my court.... we shall see!
That's it and that's all for now.....
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
My Baby Boy is 1 Year Old! and a Rant
I can't believe it...it's a new year and my baby boy turned 1 year old on Feb 6th. He's 30.5 in tall and 21.5 lbs. He's eating some table foods now and drinking less bottles. He is cutting 5 more teeth as we speak! It's been a busy year so far...he's getting close to walking too...he cruises everywhere and he says "mama" and "dada"too! We had a big birthday party for him this past Saturday and he enjoyed himself so much with all the kids, the bounce house and especially his birthday cake! It was a nice day.
I am still working part time, and I enjoy the job more and more. My boss is the nicest guy and he does not overload or stress me with work. I recently held down the fort for him for 2 weeks when he was on a business trip to China and I think I did pretty well. I pray that this company continues to be a good thing for me, and that I have some career growth there. So far so good.
Now on to the rant of the day- I have to say something about bad friends (AGAIN). It seems to be a broken record with me, this friend screws me over, that friend shuts off...etc. But I swear that this keeps happening, and it's a mystery to me WHY. I wish I knew. This particular rant is about Shell- my supposed oldest best friend. She has grown pretty distant since I had my baby, and she has pretty much turned back to her old man hunting ways, acting like a teenager again by carrying on with guys. She has been involved with a married guy for about a year now, he lives in NY and they go back and forth visiting one another and have their trysts. She thinks I am stupid and don't know anything about it, but one of her other friends gave me some details about it and told me what she has been up to and hasn't been telling me. Anyways, she has been acting really weird for the entire year- and it comes to my baby boy's 1st birthday party and she blew it off. First she RSVP's that she and her daughter are coming, then the day before the party...she calls me and tells me something about her daughter having a weird rash and she wanted to make sure it wasn't contagious, so she was taking her to the Dr that afternoon. I told her, fine, call me when you know something. Hours pass, and later that evening I get a text message from her sayins "At the hospital." No explanation was given...so I send her a message right back asking what happened and to call me, and she sends back. "Can't call, will call you later." So here I am...worrying that there is a serious problem with her daughter, and all she would text back is that the Dr sent them straight to the hospital. I texted her back to call me and let me know what happened and how her kid is doing, and I never hear back from her. The next morning, I put a FB wall post on her wall asking what happened and to call me, and I get no response. The party comes and goes, I never hear from her, and I call after the party and I get no answer at her house or cell. I left a message expressing my concern- and you got it...nothing.
By this point, I am plain pissed off. I think I deserve the courtesy of a return call, especially since I was left hanging Friday nite like that. Well, today Tuesday, she calls me cell phone as I am driving home from my boy's Dr appt and I decided NOT to answer it. I am pretty fed up with her excuses and her outlandish stories and I am not entirely certain that she hasn't exaggerated this whole thing to get out of buying a gift and attending the party. Not for anything, but I went to ALL her daughter's birthday parties, her christening, her communion and dance recitals. I always gave gifts too. I find it really rude to not reciprocate when I had been giving to her kid for 15 years. Aside from the gift issue, there is the blatant disrespect for me as a friend to not communicate to me what was supposed to be some sort of emergency and let me sit and wonder what the hell happened! She left a lame voice message saying that she just got back from the hospital today and her phone was ringing off the hook all weekend and it was going dead and she had SO many people to call back, etc and to call her so she can tell me what happened. At this point, I am NOT interested what happened. She is playing games again and I am sick and tired of it. This is the same type of BS that she has ALWAYS pulled and I am not forgiving and forgetting about it this time. She is only a friend when it's convenient for her to be, and I don't want any more part time friends- you're either in or your out. There's no in between anymore. I'm not an idiot- I have seen her ignore phone calls on her cell, where she looks to see who it is and just doesn't answer. She does it to me all the time and I am SICK of it. I am NOT going to pick up her calls anymore. I don't have room in my life for that type of stuff, and even though I am very hurt by her behavior, I am not going to allow her to weasel her way back in so she has me on standby for when she wants to be around. I'm DONE with it. Totally done.
Rant over... that's it and that's all!
I am still working part time, and I enjoy the job more and more. My boss is the nicest guy and he does not overload or stress me with work. I recently held down the fort for him for 2 weeks when he was on a business trip to China and I think I did pretty well. I pray that this company continues to be a good thing for me, and that I have some career growth there. So far so good.
Now on to the rant of the day- I have to say something about bad friends (AGAIN). It seems to be a broken record with me, this friend screws me over, that friend shuts off...etc. But I swear that this keeps happening, and it's a mystery to me WHY. I wish I knew. This particular rant is about Shell- my supposed oldest best friend. She has grown pretty distant since I had my baby, and she has pretty much turned back to her old man hunting ways, acting like a teenager again by carrying on with guys. She has been involved with a married guy for about a year now, he lives in NY and they go back and forth visiting one another and have their trysts. She thinks I am stupid and don't know anything about it, but one of her other friends gave me some details about it and told me what she has been up to and hasn't been telling me. Anyways, she has been acting really weird for the entire year- and it comes to my baby boy's 1st birthday party and she blew it off. First she RSVP's that she and her daughter are coming, then the day before the party...she calls me and tells me something about her daughter having a weird rash and she wanted to make sure it wasn't contagious, so she was taking her to the Dr that afternoon. I told her, fine, call me when you know something. Hours pass, and later that evening I get a text message from her sayins "At the hospital." No explanation was given...so I send her a message right back asking what happened and to call me, and she sends back. "Can't call, will call you later." So here I am...worrying that there is a serious problem with her daughter, and all she would text back is that the Dr sent them straight to the hospital. I texted her back to call me and let me know what happened and how her kid is doing, and I never hear back from her. The next morning, I put a FB wall post on her wall asking what happened and to call me, and I get no response. The party comes and goes, I never hear from her, and I call after the party and I get no answer at her house or cell. I left a message expressing my concern- and you got it...nothing.
By this point, I am plain pissed off. I think I deserve the courtesy of a return call, especially since I was left hanging Friday nite like that. Well, today Tuesday, she calls me cell phone as I am driving home from my boy's Dr appt and I decided NOT to answer it. I am pretty fed up with her excuses and her outlandish stories and I am not entirely certain that she hasn't exaggerated this whole thing to get out of buying a gift and attending the party. Not for anything, but I went to ALL her daughter's birthday parties, her christening, her communion and dance recitals. I always gave gifts too. I find it really rude to not reciprocate when I had been giving to her kid for 15 years. Aside from the gift issue, there is the blatant disrespect for me as a friend to not communicate to me what was supposed to be some sort of emergency and let me sit and wonder what the hell happened! She left a lame voice message saying that she just got back from the hospital today and her phone was ringing off the hook all weekend and it was going dead and she had SO many people to call back, etc and to call her so she can tell me what happened. At this point, I am NOT interested what happened. She is playing games again and I am sick and tired of it. This is the same type of BS that she has ALWAYS pulled and I am not forgiving and forgetting about it this time. She is only a friend when it's convenient for her to be, and I don't want any more part time friends- you're either in or your out. There's no in between anymore. I'm not an idiot- I have seen her ignore phone calls on her cell, where she looks to see who it is and just doesn't answer. She does it to me all the time and I am SICK of it. I am NOT going to pick up her calls anymore. I don't have room in my life for that type of stuff, and even though I am very hurt by her behavior, I am not going to allow her to weasel her way back in so she has me on standby for when she wants to be around. I'm DONE with it. Totally done.
Rant over... that's it and that's all!
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