Do I or don't I?

So today marks Shell's daughter's Sweet 16 birthday... of course, I should have expected that I would get a phone call today. Highly ironic that on HER daughter's birthday, she would take the time to finally call me back, isn't it?

This all came about because I put a Happy Birthday FB posting to the kid on her page. Shell also had a status stating that her daughter was turning 16 today.She used one of my wedding pics of her daughter (she was my flower girl) and cropped me out of the pic. Basically my comment was that I liked the original pic better with me in it. It kind of aggravated me that she cropped me out. She has SO many pics of all her friends on her page, but none of me and my son...but everyone else gets face time. I know, it's petty, but it still bothered me. To me, it seemed like yet another example of how unimportant I am in her life.

At any rate, this precipitated the obligatory phone call this morning inviting me to the "last minute" birthday bbq. She also made sure to mention that there was a Sweet 16 party in the works, but of course was not yet planned. Whatever. She has known about this for ages, why would she not plan this party ahead of time? WTF? Her very eloquent verbal invite also included the phrase "I understand if you don't want to come." Gee, you think? Do I really want to come to this little last minute soiree for your child? KNOWING that I was a last minute invite? Really? AND bring some sort of present too? No thanks, I'd rather have my wisdom teeth yanked from my head than attend this so called party. If she couldn't come to my boy's 1st party, then there's no way in hell would I have any interest in attending her girl's 16th. She didn't even bother to give him a gift. There's not a chance in hell that I will go to this party, or the one she hasn't planned yet. In my mind, it was a completely disingenuous and insincere invitation, done only to relieve her own guilt for being a crappy friend that can't be bothered to call me back once in a while. In her mind, as long as she extended the invitation, then the ball is in my court. If I refuse to go, she is off the hook once again. This is true, she will be off the hook in her mind, but not in mine.

I told Hubby about this and he said that I should call her back, "Be the bigger person." However, I am sick of being the bigger person. I have been that person for over 20 years. I am always the one who does the right thing and acquieces to her nonsense. This in turn enables her to wiggle her way into my good graces again, setting me up for yet another disappointment when she decides to not be bothered with me once something more titillating comes along; whether it is a new guy, a new friend, or an old friend she reconnected with, no matter, I always rank the lowest on the list. I am tired of being that person.

So as I sit here typing this, I am trying to decide whether I should do one of the following:

1) Return the phone call, and politely decline the "invitation."
2) Don't bother to call back and let her wonder if I ever got the message.
3) Text her back declining the invitation.
4) Call her and then decide to go.

Obviously #4 is out of the question- I don't think that it would be a good idea as it would just enable her to wiggle into my good graces that I don't want her to wiggle into anymore.
#1 is the most civilized option- not sure if I am feeling civilized today.
#2 is the most uncivilized option- not even I am that rude (although she is.)
#3 is the most impersonal option- I am leaning towards this as I have no interest in actually speaking to her.

So right now I have to make a decision how to respond, as the ball is now in my court.... we shall see!

That's it and that's all for now.....