Getting discouraged

I have been out of work since my dear little boy was born- I have been looking everyday on the computer, put out feelers with everyone I could think of to network with, but no luck so far. I had 1 interview with a company over a week ago, and have not heard anything back yet. I know that they were going to do a round of 2nd interviews calling back 3-5 of the applicants before making a decision...so far I have not heard a thing. I'm not having a good feeling about this job. :(

On the baby front, my precious boy is getting big! He's very vocal now, he's discovered his hands and is grabbing anything that he can. I love him so much it's unbelievable. He's the light of my life, even though taking care of him is the hardest thing that I have ever had to do. I really wish that I could afford to stay home with him. I get the guilt trip every day from hubby that I need a job soon or else we won't be able to make the bills. I totally understand that, but on the other hand, you can't get back these early weeks and months in your baby's life and if I had been working this whole time, I'd have missed the milestones...like the first smile, the first giggle- he's now attempting to roll over...he gets halfway on his side and can't get all the way over yet. These are all things that I would be missing if I were working.

I wish that I could come into some money- enough to afford me the opportunity to stay at home with baby boy and continue to look for a job that works with his schedule. I play the lottery every week- I'm not greedy though, I don't need to be a multimillionaire- I just need us to be able to pay the bills, and maybe help out my parents a bit, that's all! I pray for a good financial outcome for us, and soon. We need the help desperately.

I guess I just needed to vent- I feel pretty isolated since I had the baby. I've been pretty much abandoned by my best friend (Shell), my former good friends (B&A) and Miss G have disappeared off the map, I look the worst I have ever looked in my life as well. I can't seem to get the motivation to exercise anymore, not even to dance, even though I miss it terribly. I think I may be depressed. :( I don't know what to do, because I feel like I have no one to turn to...not even my own parents can help me, as they are in a worse situation than I am. They are unable to see past their own hurdles to notice that I am suffering. I hope that this passes soon. I need some good luck to come into my life and that will be enough to get me out of the slump. Thank God I have my baby boy. He is the most precious thing to me. I focus on him and not the bad stuff.

That's it and that's all for now...