I don't normally post more than once in a day...or even in a week, but I feel compelled to do it because I have nowhere else to vent.....
My topic of choice today is family and "friends"...
1) FAMILY- Mine is not always the easiest to deal with- they are dysfunctional, difficult and dynamic. I have a hard relationship with my mother, my mother in law and my sister in law. My mother in law (MIL) is extremely pushy - the classic Jewish mother. She puts her 2 cents in on every topic imaginable and annoys me to the point that I wish that she would just disappear into the cosmos never to be seen again. The other day, she said that I should "stop starving the baby and start feeding him real food already." This is because she does not support my breastfeeding my son. She seems threatened by that for some odd reason. The woman is making me hate being married to my husband, because I have to deal with her! She makes me miserable, bottom line. This post would be 2 miles long if I detailed everything she has done to make me miserable since I had my son. So in the interest of length, I will leave it at that. Now on to my Mom. She's pushy too- a classic Italian mom... and she makes me insane also. She doesn't drive, but has taken me on more guilt trips than any Jewish mother could inflict on a child. She has mental issues (anxiety, depression, claustrophobia and social anxiety) that she has never sought help for and never intends to. Thus, she tortures her family as a result. It's always been hard for me to deal with her..she has been hypercritical of me from birth, I often think that she harbors resentment towards me for being born. I always say that she hates me, and I think there is some truth to it, even though she would never admit to it. And finally, my sister in law. The one in question is the one married to my brother, not my husband's sister (that one is another issue- she's just plain bizarre, but harmless.) This SIL is quite a piece of work. She has issues with attention..she MUST have 100% attention of everyone in the room or she is miserable. She likes to make mountains out of molehills and create drama where there isn't any. Case in point: Last nite we all went out to a Chinese buffet (not my choice, I would have rather stayed at home.)
Hubby was taking pics of all the grandkids, as we were all together in one place and that doesn't often happen. Now, let me preface this by saying that I know that Hubby's comment was dumb, but he was not being malicious about it- this was the comment... as he showed a pic of my sister's 2 kids with my baby to my mom, he said, "Look, here's a picture of your 3 favorite grandchildren!" He said it in a joking way, and meant it to be a joke, he didn't mean that literally. My SIL apparently was really bothered by it, because this morning she posted a cryptic status message on Facebook something to the effect "I wish people would think before they speak, I'd like to put my foot in their mouth!" I of course was puzzled about it, but called my Mom today to ask if she knew if SIL was on the rampage about something...and she said that she bets it was my Hubby's remark. Lovely. Now I have to deal with the drama that will ensue from this. Because SIL posted that status message, she is prompting people to ask what's wrong, and then she will continue her passive aggressive assault on me and Hubby and play the victim. Oh Boo Hoo...her children not being labeled favorites (which I can assure anyone reading this that her girls ARE favorites of my Mom's, especially since they live next door- Mom always denies the favoritism, but it's obvious.) She is looking for MORE attention..it's ALWAYS about HER. ALWAYS.
2) "FRIENDS"- I put the word in quotes because in my life, I do not have many real friends. In fact, people that I thought were my friends later showed themselves not to be friends at all. I can count 1 person as a true friend, and she lives an hour away from me and I don't get to see her much. My other "friend" Shell, has recently proved that she is not my friend after all....I have known her for 20 years, but there was always a conditional friendship there...I'll be your friend IF there is nothing else going on that I deem more important. I am disappointed in her...I really believed that she grew out of the immature "blowing off" of friends. I guess people never change. I am still annoyed about B and being blown off for my baby shower...she never called me when the baby was born, and never sent a gift either. Very rude .
I guess I am rambling now. I don't enjoy this kind of aggravation..I'm glad that I got that off my chest. :)
That's it and that's all!
Saturday, July 18, 2009
More updates....
Just a little update.... I had an interview on 7/7/09 (which is the same day as the MJ Memorial btw) at a manufacturing company for a part-time position in purchasing. I was pleasantly surprised with the details of the position. First of all, they were very happy that I have a little baby....they actually started the interview with: "So you have an infant? How old?" Apparently they must have googled me and found my FB or Myspace profile, because those have a pic of myself with the baby (the pic shows even though the profiles are private)... the second question was "What is your benefit situation?" and I told them that I was covered under my hubby. After that, it just continued to get more intriguing. As it turns out, the job will be 20-25 hrs per week during the slow times, and 30-35 in season... it pays $20-$24 per hour! I was so shocked! I expected $10-$15 per hour! So I am definitely interested in this job...we can get by if I can make $20 hr part time. The company really wants someone who is truly interested in part time work, thus the emphasis on my having a baby...they know that I truly don't want to work full time when he is little. They know that a lot of ppl will apply for the job hoping to get it and keep looking, and they don't want that....so I have a bit of an edge in my particular situation. Their only concern is that I don't know the MRP program, but as I told them, you can teach someone a program, you can't teach experience in purchasing. Someone who has a lot of experience will have a proclivity to learn new programs. I think that was a pretty good answer to their concern. I was given a tour of the warehouse and the area that the products are made and I think they are pretty interested in me. So for now I wait...apparently the boss had a planned trip to China for business (to arrange to buy more components) and would not be back for 3 weeks. I wrote a thank you card and sent it the very next day thanking him for his time and expressing my interest in the position...I also followed up with an email restating that information, as well as letting him know that the pay they offer will work with the family budget (he had asked me to get back to him on that info.) At the time that I am writing this, he still has not opened the email (I marked it return receipt) but he may not have his computer with him on the trip....I am hoping that he still has me in mind when he returns from the trip....I know that they planned on interviewing a few more people after me.
Keeping my fingers crossed!
That's it and that's all for now....
Keeping my fingers crossed!
That's it and that's all for now....
Friday, July 3, 2009
Another Interview!
Well, after weeks and weeks of constant applications, I finally got called for another interview! It's for a part-time, seasonal position in my field, which is part-time from Aprl to September, and full time from October to March. I'm not sure what the pay is for this job, but it's 25 hrs per week during the off season and around 40 hrs in peak season. As long as it is on the up and up, then it may be a workable solution for me. I can still have quality time with my baby boy, and still bring in some money. As long as it isn't a really low paying job, it will work. If it nets out to the same as or less than unemployment, then I may pass on it. I need more than $250 per week....I was making about $700 per week in my other job, so I can't really afford to make less than $450-$500 at this point in order to keep our bills afloat. I will have to wait and see how this pans out..the interview is on Tues 7/7 at 2 pm. I will post more about it after it happens.
That's it and that's all for now!
That's it and that's all for now!
Friday, June 26, 2009
A Tribute to Michael Jackson
I am writing this one day after the passing of Michael Jackson, the King of Pop. I was among the millions of shocked fans to learn of his sudden death from cardiac arrest yesterday and am still in shock. It's surreal to see one of the icons of your generation to be taken so suddenly. I am dedicating this particular post to him, as I was a fan of his in my younger years, and an admirer in my older years.
I am likening this event to the passing of other musical greats: Elvis for the children of the 50's , John Lennon for the children of the 60's and Curt Cobain for the children of the 90's. I am a child of the 80's and Michael Jackson defined the landscape of popular culture of music, dance and fashion as well as revolutionized the visual medium of music videos in the infancy of MTV. I am of the MTV generation- and to us, Michael Jackson WAS the King of Pop.
I remember wanting the Thriller album so badly that year it came out...I was in 6th grade, and when I received that album for Christmas that year, I was over the moon. I learned every song- I learned every dance routine. I wanted to be "like Mike". Many of the children I knew felt the same way, we admired him, we looked up to him, and we emulated him. I danced to "Billie Jean" in the year end talent show in 6th grade, and although I didn't win, I was ecstatic to get a chance to perform to his music. I may have been a ballet/jazz dancer at the time, but his music transcended dance styles...you could dance any style to his songs and make it look cool.
Unfortunately I never got the opportunity to see him perform live in person, I was too young to see a concert (my parents' rules ) and I lament the loss of that opportunity as it has been lost forever now that I am old enough to do whatever I want to do! However, I witnessed every live TV event he was on, and enjoyed the performances. The Motown 25th Anniversary Special sticks out in my mind, as that was the first time we witnessed him doing the moonwalk. The Grammys for that year also come to mind, as he won 6 awards- an unbelievable feat for any solo artist. He was the best performer that ever lived, and I always believed that.
I have decided to remember Michael Jackson for all the great music and dancing that he left behind. I choose not to dwell on the particular eccentricities of his personal life that the tabloids and gossip columnists fed on. To me, Michael Jackson was larger than life, he was talented and he was a genius in music. His legacy is large in scope and is here for all of us to enjoy forever. His spirit will live on in his music and in that way he is immortal.
God rest his soul and condolences to his family, especially his 3 children.
God Bless!
That's it and that's all I have to say about that....
I am likening this event to the passing of other musical greats: Elvis for the children of the 50's , John Lennon for the children of the 60's and Curt Cobain for the children of the 90's. I am a child of the 80's and Michael Jackson defined the landscape of popular culture of music, dance and fashion as well as revolutionized the visual medium of music videos in the infancy of MTV. I am of the MTV generation- and to us, Michael Jackson WAS the King of Pop.
I remember wanting the Thriller album so badly that year it came out...I was in 6th grade, and when I received that album for Christmas that year, I was over the moon. I learned every song- I learned every dance routine. I wanted to be "like Mike". Many of the children I knew felt the same way, we admired him, we looked up to him, and we emulated him. I danced to "Billie Jean" in the year end talent show in 6th grade, and although I didn't win, I was ecstatic to get a chance to perform to his music. I may have been a ballet/jazz dancer at the time, but his music transcended dance styles...you could dance any style to his songs and make it look cool.
Unfortunately I never got the opportunity to see him perform live in person, I was too young to see a concert (my parents' rules ) and I lament the loss of that opportunity as it has been lost forever now that I am old enough to do whatever I want to do! However, I witnessed every live TV event he was on, and enjoyed the performances. The Motown 25th Anniversary Special sticks out in my mind, as that was the first time we witnessed him doing the moonwalk. The Grammys for that year also come to mind, as he won 6 awards- an unbelievable feat for any solo artist. He was the best performer that ever lived, and I always believed that.
I have decided to remember Michael Jackson for all the great music and dancing that he left behind. I choose not to dwell on the particular eccentricities of his personal life that the tabloids and gossip columnists fed on. To me, Michael Jackson was larger than life, he was talented and he was a genius in music. His legacy is large in scope and is here for all of us to enjoy forever. His spirit will live on in his music and in that way he is immortal.
God rest his soul and condolences to his family, especially his 3 children.
God Bless!
That's it and that's all I have to say about that....
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
The Job Hunt Continues....
So I have officially been out of work for a couple of months (my last paycheck was on April 5th) but I haven't actually worked since February 5th. It's starting to wear me down being out of work... last year I found a job within 3 months.... at this point I am looking at a much longer unemployment. I wish that I didn't need to find a job, I'd rather just be a stay at home mom, but we can't live on my husband's salary alone. Plus, I'd like to be contributing to the household budget...baby stuff is expensive...the diapers and wipes alone are a fortune, and my little angel is now starting to supplement with formula as my breast milk supply is starting to slow down and he needs the extra calories.
I have been searching every day on the internet, and ATTEMPTING to network with anyone that could help me. So far my networking attempts have been pretty unhelpful. I have reached out to former colleagues and some acquaintances that I have met in the business world and I have been rebuffed. It's as if I have fallen off the face of the earth and I have become invisible and irrelevant.
I have had only 1 interview since I have started this job search 2 months ago...I thought it went well...however, I came to find out 3 weeks later that the job had been filled. The stupid agency that sent me on the interview couldn't be bothered to return my calls about that job, so I had to contact the company directly and that's how I found out. I guess since they weren't going to get a commission for placing me I had no use for them. It's pretty pathetic in my opinion. The courteous thing would have been to call me back when I asked about the status of the job. It was on the internet for weeks after it was filled, so I was surprised to find out it had been filled. Whatever...it's another example of how the unemployed gets screwed with by potential employers like staffing agencies. I swear they cherry pick all the applicants to fill their job orders and can't be bothered with anyone else.
As far as motherhood goes, I do enjoy my son. He's my pride and joy and I adore him. He's 4 months old now, and he's started to roll over on his own, he grabs at toys, and he has found his feet..he likes to try to bite them, and in fact has pulled his socks off in the process. He's now sleeping through the nite most of the time, and I am ALMOST ready to let him sleep in his crib in his bedroom, he is currently still sleeping in his carseat/stroller next to my bed at nite. I wake up several times to check on him to make sure he is ok. I am neurotic and I know it. I don't know any other way to be.
Well, that's it and that's all for now...I need some good luck to come to me so I can stop worrying so much...
TTFN
I have been searching every day on the internet, and ATTEMPTING to network with anyone that could help me. So far my networking attempts have been pretty unhelpful. I have reached out to former colleagues and some acquaintances that I have met in the business world and I have been rebuffed. It's as if I have fallen off the face of the earth and I have become invisible and irrelevant.
I have had only 1 interview since I have started this job search 2 months ago...I thought it went well...however, I came to find out 3 weeks later that the job had been filled. The stupid agency that sent me on the interview couldn't be bothered to return my calls about that job, so I had to contact the company directly and that's how I found out. I guess since they weren't going to get a commission for placing me I had no use for them. It's pretty pathetic in my opinion. The courteous thing would have been to call me back when I asked about the status of the job. It was on the internet for weeks after it was filled, so I was surprised to find out it had been filled. Whatever...it's another example of how the unemployed gets screwed with by potential employers like staffing agencies. I swear they cherry pick all the applicants to fill their job orders and can't be bothered with anyone else.
As far as motherhood goes, I do enjoy my son. He's my pride and joy and I adore him. He's 4 months old now, and he's started to roll over on his own, he grabs at toys, and he has found his feet..he likes to try to bite them, and in fact has pulled his socks off in the process. He's now sleeping through the nite most of the time, and I am ALMOST ready to let him sleep in his crib in his bedroom, he is currently still sleeping in his carseat/stroller next to my bed at nite. I wake up several times to check on him to make sure he is ok. I am neurotic and I know it. I don't know any other way to be.
Well, that's it and that's all for now...I need some good luck to come to me so I can stop worrying so much...
TTFN
Friday, May 22, 2009
Getting discouraged
I have been out of work since my dear little boy was born- I have been looking everyday on the computer, put out feelers with everyone I could think of to network with, but no luck so far. I had 1 interview with a company over a week ago, and have not heard anything back yet. I know that they were going to do a round of 2nd interviews calling back 3-5 of the applicants before making a decision...so far I have not heard a thing. I'm not having a good feeling about this job. :(
On the baby front, my precious boy is getting big! He's very vocal now, he's discovered his hands and is grabbing anything that he can. I love him so much it's unbelievable. He's the light of my life, even though taking care of him is the hardest thing that I have ever had to do. I really wish that I could afford to stay home with him. I get the guilt trip every day from hubby that I need a job soon or else we won't be able to make the bills. I totally understand that, but on the other hand, you can't get back these early weeks and months in your baby's life and if I had been working this whole time, I'd have missed the milestones...like the first smile, the first giggle- he's now attempting to roll over...he gets halfway on his side and can't get all the way over yet. These are all things that I would be missing if I were working.
I wish that I could come into some money- enough to afford me the opportunity to stay at home with baby boy and continue to look for a job that works with his schedule. I play the lottery every week- I'm not greedy though, I don't need to be a multimillionaire- I just need us to be able to pay the bills, and maybe help out my parents a bit, that's all! I pray for a good financial outcome for us, and soon. We need the help desperately.
I guess I just needed to vent- I feel pretty isolated since I had the baby. I've been pretty much abandoned by my best friend (Shell), my former good friends (B&A) and Miss G have disappeared off the map, I look the worst I have ever looked in my life as well. I can't seem to get the motivation to exercise anymore, not even to dance, even though I miss it terribly. I think I may be depressed. :( I don't know what to do, because I feel like I have no one to turn to...not even my own parents can help me, as they are in a worse situation than I am. They are unable to see past their own hurdles to notice that I am suffering. I hope that this passes soon. I need some good luck to come into my life and that will be enough to get me out of the slump. Thank God I have my baby boy. He is the most precious thing to me. I focus on him and not the bad stuff.
That's it and that's all for now...
On the baby front, my precious boy is getting big! He's very vocal now, he's discovered his hands and is grabbing anything that he can. I love him so much it's unbelievable. He's the light of my life, even though taking care of him is the hardest thing that I have ever had to do. I really wish that I could afford to stay home with him. I get the guilt trip every day from hubby that I need a job soon or else we won't be able to make the bills. I totally understand that, but on the other hand, you can't get back these early weeks and months in your baby's life and if I had been working this whole time, I'd have missed the milestones...like the first smile, the first giggle- he's now attempting to roll over...he gets halfway on his side and can't get all the way over yet. These are all things that I would be missing if I were working.
I wish that I could come into some money- enough to afford me the opportunity to stay at home with baby boy and continue to look for a job that works with his schedule. I play the lottery every week- I'm not greedy though, I don't need to be a multimillionaire- I just need us to be able to pay the bills, and maybe help out my parents a bit, that's all! I pray for a good financial outcome for us, and soon. We need the help desperately.
I guess I just needed to vent- I feel pretty isolated since I had the baby. I've been pretty much abandoned by my best friend (Shell), my former good friends (B&A) and Miss G have disappeared off the map, I look the worst I have ever looked in my life as well. I can't seem to get the motivation to exercise anymore, not even to dance, even though I miss it terribly. I think I may be depressed. :( I don't know what to do, because I feel like I have no one to turn to...not even my own parents can help me, as they are in a worse situation than I am. They are unable to see past their own hurdles to notice that I am suffering. I hope that this passes soon. I need some good luck to come into my life and that will be enough to get me out of the slump. Thank God I have my baby boy. He is the most precious thing to me. I focus on him and not the bad stuff.
That's it and that's all for now...
Friday, May 1, 2009
12 weeks old today!
My little angel is 12 weeks old today...I can't believe that on May 6th it will be officially 3 months ago that I gave birth to him...it seems like just yesterday.
He's growing by leaps and bounds...he was almost 12 lbs and 23.5 in at his last Dr's appt- he has way surpassed that by now, as he is growing out of his 3 month sized sleepers and is in 6 month size because he is so long. He is developing a personality now- he is fairly demanding- he wants what he wants when he wants it, but he is also very sweet and smiles and coos a lot. He is grabbing onto things now- he especially likes to pull off his bibs and puts them in his mouth. He likes to grab Mommy's necklace and the burpcloth off her shoulder as well. As my Mom likes to say, "This kid is going to be something else! You better be prepared!" She is of the opinion that he is going to be really high energy and that I am going to have my hands full with him. I am ok with it, as long as he is healthy and happy that is all that really matters to me. I love him with every fiber of my being and could not imagine life without him. Now, if only I can get him to sleep in the crib instead of the car seat, I'll be set!! He has occasionally slept 5-7 hrs at nite, but it's not consistent. I get up with him at least once per nite to nurse him, and often it's twice (it was twice last nite.) He fights his sleep in the evening and at nap time so I have to rock him and bounce him around to get him to go to sleep. It's a work in progress...I am trying my hardest to do everything right, but I am sure that I have made mistakes. Oh well! I'm new at this- it's to be expected!
My first Mother's Day is coming up....I can't believe that I finally get to be honored on this day...I hope that Hubby remembers to do something for me. I would love a piece of jewelry to comemmorate this day, but I know it's not financially possible. I am still out of work, and although I have been searching intently (as much as I can with a newborn.) I have had no bites on my resume as of yet. I have been networking as much as possible to get job leads. So far nothing.. I pray that we can stay financially afloat and not get behind on our bills. I pray for a financial windfall like the lotto- that would help not only my household, but my parents' as well. They are in a bad way right now- they are facing foreclosure on their home and I can't do anything to help them. It's all very stressful. I pray daily- that's about all I can do.
And on that note, I will close this post. I am happy with my baby, enjoying staying home with him as long as I am able to, and pray for better economic times for all of us.
That's it and that's all!!
He's growing by leaps and bounds...he was almost 12 lbs and 23.5 in at his last Dr's appt- he has way surpassed that by now, as he is growing out of his 3 month sized sleepers and is in 6 month size because he is so long. He is developing a personality now- he is fairly demanding- he wants what he wants when he wants it, but he is also very sweet and smiles and coos a lot. He is grabbing onto things now- he especially likes to pull off his bibs and puts them in his mouth. He likes to grab Mommy's necklace and the burpcloth off her shoulder as well. As my Mom likes to say, "This kid is going to be something else! You better be prepared!" She is of the opinion that he is going to be really high energy and that I am going to have my hands full with him. I am ok with it, as long as he is healthy and happy that is all that really matters to me. I love him with every fiber of my being and could not imagine life without him. Now, if only I can get him to sleep in the crib instead of the car seat, I'll be set!! He has occasionally slept 5-7 hrs at nite, but it's not consistent. I get up with him at least once per nite to nurse him, and often it's twice (it was twice last nite.) He fights his sleep in the evening and at nap time so I have to rock him and bounce him around to get him to go to sleep. It's a work in progress...I am trying my hardest to do everything right, but I am sure that I have made mistakes. Oh well! I'm new at this- it's to be expected!
My first Mother's Day is coming up....I can't believe that I finally get to be honored on this day...I hope that Hubby remembers to do something for me. I would love a piece of jewelry to comemmorate this day, but I know it's not financially possible. I am still out of work, and although I have been searching intently (as much as I can with a newborn.) I have had no bites on my resume as of yet. I have been networking as much as possible to get job leads. So far nothing.. I pray that we can stay financially afloat and not get behind on our bills. I pray for a financial windfall like the lotto- that would help not only my household, but my parents' as well. They are in a bad way right now- they are facing foreclosure on their home and I can't do anything to help them. It's all very stressful. I pray daily- that's about all I can do.
And on that note, I will close this post. I am happy with my baby, enjoying staying home with him as long as I am able to, and pray for better economic times for all of us.
That's it and that's all!!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)